My Dinner with Spongebob
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: VERY OLD fanfic I wrote ages ago. Somehow, it got deleted. Here it is again. Spongebob is real. I guess. Yeah.


It was a snowy cold winter night. I was bored, scrounging through my old fanfics reading reviews, and just basically bored as hell, I know I just used the word bored and I don't want to be redundant or boring, but anyway, what happened was something that is hard to believe. As I was scrolling through my spongebob fics, I heard a voice to the left of my shoulder that ironically sounded a lot like SpongeBob himself. I turned my head over and no one was there. I went to the kitchen to pour myself some water. I was all out of drinking water so I used tap water. When I started turning the cold water switch on the sink, low and behold, SpongeBob came into my house through the sink. I know it's hard to believe and it sounds really silly, but it happened nonetheless. We had a good conversation, me and SpongeBob that is, and you can read it!

"Hi, I'm SpongeBob! I'm from the world of imaginaaaaaation!" said SpongeBob.

"I've seen some weird things in my life, but this might take the cake! The Sponge cake that is!" I thought to myself. SpongeBob leaped out of the sink and into the kitchen, when suddenly, he realized he had no source of water and could not breathe.

"I NEED WAATER!" said SpongeBob gasping for air. So I took my old fish bowl that used to belong to my pet fish, and filled it with water, and put it over SpongeBob's head and it fit perfectly.

"Perfect! I can absorb in, and then send the water back into the bowl with my spongey holes, it works perfectly!" said SpongeBob.

"Now tell me Spongebob, why are you here?" I asked, after explaining the ins and outs of the fish bowl breathing peripheral.

"To cut the branches of deception from the tree of life, to shave away the unkept sideburns of despair, and most importantly, to blow bubbles! Simple fun things to do, such as bubble blowing, are in fact, the true meanings of life. And so it is with great honor, that I present to you, the ultimate bubble blowing utensil, the bubble wand!" said SpongeBob.

"Yeah, sure, well I had one of those as a kid!" I said.

"You mean, you're not a kid..anymore?" asked SpongeBob with a frightened look.

"No, but neither are you right? You live on your own, you're employed, and you're taking drivers education! Seems pretty grown up to me!"

"No, actually, I'm a goofy goober!" said SpongeBob.

"Oh, yeah, that's right! Well I've obviously got a little bit of a kid in my heart or I wouldn't write SpongeBob fanfiction!" I said.

"You write fanfiction, about ME? MEEE? I am soo touched! I must know your name!" said SpongeBob. I was just about to serve myself up some beef wellington when suddenly SpongeBob sprang into the air, and began screaming about jellyfishing and bubble blowing and how much fun we would have if I lived in Bikini Bottom.

"My name is Shane! I watch your show and have almost all the dialogue from it memorized!" I confessed.

"I have a show?" asked SpongeBob.

"Yeah! Don't you know about it?" I asked in a confused tone.

"No, I don't even know how I got here! I come from the world of imaginaaation!" said SpongeBob.

"Is that so? I hope I don't creep you out or anything, but you're a cartoon character thought up by a marine biologist named Stephen Hillenburg!" I said.

"Wow, then he must be God!" said SpongeBob.

"Yeah, sure, not exactly, but of your dimension, I suppose. I've created a few dimensions myself with my imagination. Want to sit down and watch TV with me?" I asked. SpongeBob sat down beside me on the couch and I turned on the TV. I flipped to Nickelodeon. SpongeBob was on.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN RECORDED!" said SpongeBob.

"Yeah, SpongeBob, we know your deep dark secrets!" I said.

"Including the crabby patty secret formula?" asked SpongeBob scared.

"No, we still haven't been allowed access to those tapes!" I replied.

"If I'm a cartoon character, how did I end up here?" asked SpongeBob.

"Your guess is as good as mine!" I said.

"Hey, let's talk this over at the dinner table!" said SpongeBob. I agreed that was a good idea. So we went to the dinner table. I layed out some food for me and SpongeBob, but I suddenly realized SpongeBob couldn't eat with a fish bowl on his head.

"Just take the food and slide it up into the fish bowl and into your mouth!" I told SpongeBob.

"Okay!" said SpongeBob.

"So, SpongeBob, how do you think you got here?" I asked him.

"Hmm, the last thing I can remember I was testing one of Sandy's inventions, an inter-dimensional portal that can help one travel through time and space!" replied SpongeBob.

"So a new episode of SpongeBob is probably set to air but you're existing outside of Stephen Hillenburg's imagination, meaning you might cease to exist if you stay in our world!" I warned Spongebob.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed SpongeBob.

"Please, don't do that!" I said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed SpongeBob yet again, stuffing some fried chicken into his mouth.

"Look, get it together!" I said.

"What is that you're eating?" said SpongeBob with a disturbed expression, as he glanced over at the crab and tuna fish salad on my plate.

"Oh, this, it's umm, just vegetables, yeah that's it! Anyway, umm, until Sandy warps you out of here, what do you want to talk about?" I asked SpongeBob.

"Well, I would like to talk about the majesty of the mighty seagull that helped Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy defeat the dirty bubble in July of 1970. It was a cold winter night, and I was in my fuzzy bunny slippers, preparing for an exciting episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! To continue, I was on the edge of my seat during the scene where the magic seagull led Mermaid Man to Harold Halibut's grave!" said SpongeBob.

"Go on!" I said, eating some crab salad.

"And low and behold, the Dirty Bubble conducted a satanic ritual to make Harold Halibut, the corrupt politician come back to life! And he tried to turn Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy into underwater zombies! But Mermaid Man used water balls to deflect the Kelpazoid rays! And then the Dirty Bubble started reading dirty magazines, but only for the articles in them, as Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy battled Harold Halibut, and when he was defeated, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy popped the Dirty bubble, got his magazine and took it home with them, and freed the world from zombification!" said SpongeBob.

"Umm, that's a great story! Kind of like the one a grandpa on my mother's side of the family told once" I said.

"And that of course brings me to the words of my wise Grandpa Squarepants who told me never to run for a bus, especially if it's going up at a 90 degree angle!" said SpongeBob.

"Yeah, I remember you quoted him once on your show!" I said.

"My show? Who said anything about a show? I don't have a show! Heh heh! This is just like that one episode of Twilight Cove! Nothing is as it seems, I can't even be around my best friends, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, they're all gone! I'm stuck in the human world now!" said SpongeBob, who was getting tense and starting to crack and show signs of insanity.

"Don't worry, you're in good hands! Your squirrel friend is going to fix things for you, she's a talented genius!" I assured him.

"YOU'RE EATING MR KRABS! YOU FIEND!" yelled SpongeBob, throwing my plate of crab salad at the wall.

"Uh oh!" I thought, as I whistled to myself nervously. Then SpongeBob began running back and forth, in a panic stricken fit, when suddenly, he vanished into thin air temporarily, and then re-materialized.

"Where am I now?" asked SpongeBob.

"You're here in the real world, not the cartoon dimension, but the fact that you disappeared like that means Sandy is on the verge of a breakthrough! And as long as you aren't on the verge of a breakdown, you'll be fine!" I tried to tell him.

"THE PEOPLE OF THIS DIMENSION EAT FISH FOR FOOD!" said SpongeBob reading a fishing magazine.

"That's why you need to quit playing hooky all the time!" I told SpongeBob.

"Neptune, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the vile temptation of shiny fishing bait!" said SpongeBob, reading from a Bikini Bottom religious text. I laughed. When he had finished reading, I gave him some anxiety control supplements and he began to subtle down.

"So, what do you like to do?" asked SpongeBob.

"I like to play video games, I like to write, I write stories and poetry both!" I said.

"Adventure stories I hope!" said SpongeBob.

"Yes!" I replied.

"The adventurers should eat mustard greens in your stories!" said Spongebob. I was confused.

"Why?" I asked.

"They're only the next best thing since crabby patties! I found them in your fridge!" said SpongeBob.

"Okay!" I said.

"Are there pirate ships in your stories?" I asked.

"No, not as of yet!" I answered.

"THERE HAVE TO BE PIRATE SHIPS IN THEM!" said SpongeBob, pounding the table with his fist.

"Okay I get it already!" I said.

"And I take it you write poetry? Baaallaahhala, that's fabulous! Just like Oscar Wylde, my favorite poet from your dimension!" said SpongeBob.

"Uh huh, sure, whatever!" I said turning my head at the singing bird clock hoping SpongeBob would get beamed back to his dimension as soon as possible. Then I thought of some questions to ask SpongeBob.

"Say SpongeBob, what was the deal with that episode where you found that scallop and, wait, never mind that. So how did beef and chicken and imported music get into your dimension?" I asked.

"I don't know! I guess my creators inform me and my friends about things in your dimension, and some of those things seep into my world!" said SpongeBob.

"SpongeBob, since you really exist in another dimension, due to someone else's brilliant imagination, does that mean everything I think of creates another reality somewhere?" I asked.

"I don't know, I remember being born, is there an episode of my show where I'm born?" asked SpongeBob.

"No, I don't think so! Unless you count that one piece of footage from the shoe tying episode, but it didn't actually show you get born into the world!" I said.

"Then you must be wrong! I must have existed before that Stephen guy thought of me. Think about it, my inter-dimensional cartoon universe must have been real before he thought of it! He just had to pick up on it, he didn't invent me, he channeled me!" said Spongebob.

"SpongeBob, that's incredibly brilliant. I didn't know there was an ingenious brain hidden deep inside your spongey self!" I exclaimed.

"Brains shmains, it's all about finger strength baby!" said SpongeBob. I groaned.

"Hey, it's time to feed Gary!" said SpongeBob. Then suddenly SpongeBob disappeared. I woke up. It had all been a dream. But as I got up to go to the kitchen, there was SpongeBob's bubble wand on the floor. I was in shock. Then I looked at the calendar, and it wasn't winter after all, it was the first day of spring. I looked at the time, and it was noon, 12'oclock, not night time at all. I was really freaked out, but it was cool, after all, I met SpongeBob, the most popular Nicktoon and one of the most popular cartoons of all time.

The next day in Bikini Bottom

"Sandy, you'll never believe this, but I went to another dimension last night and met a time traveler named Shane who told me all about the creator of the universe, Stephen Hillenburg!" said SpongeBob.

"Uh huh, sure, lil square dude, I believe you!" said Sandy.

"No Sandy, you have to trust me on this, after all, we're gonna be getting married soon!" Spongebob told Sandy.

"That episode hasn't been thought up yet!" said Sandy. SpongeBob's eyes widened, and he was really really spooked out.

The End


End file.
